Loop, Swoop And Pull vs. Bunny Ears

I've always found freak injuries to be funny, but they're even better when they happen to guys who are paid to keep their bodies in superhuman shape like professional athletes. Sure, we all hurt ourselves doing something stupid from time to time. That's life. But when a professional baseball player hurts himself trying to tie his shoes, a difficult activity for a third grader, sure, but not an athlete, I lose it.

Sure enough, pitcher Ricky Nolasco of the Florida Marlins was bent over tying his shoes last week when he felt a sharp pain in his knee, an injury that turned out to be a torn meniscus.

"Obviously, it's the toughest thing I've ever dealt with on the baseball field," said Nolasco, who has won 13 or more games in each of the past three seasons. "Nobody understands what it's like until they actually deal with it. There's not much I can do now."

The injury was originally considered to be a possible season-ender, but Nolasco has made incredible strides in just nine days and may make his next start. I guess that's where the professional athlete advantage comes in. If you or I tore our meniscus tying our shoes, it would take way more than nine days to heal.

But still, come'on Ricky, loop, swoop and pull, it's not that hard! You're on my fantasy team, I need you!

Chipper Is Out...Again

If I listed Mark Prior, Ken Griffey Jr., Jake Peavy, Carl Pavano, Chipper Jones and Kerry Wood together, I’ll bet the first thing that comes to your mind is that these guys are among the most injury prone baseball players in the world.

Some guys are just cursed. No matter how hard they train, how healthy they eat, and how careful they are, they get hurt year after year. Chipper could be the captain of the Al-Injury Prone team, and sure enough, he’s out for the season after tearing his ACL in Tuesday night’s game.

Jones also tore his ACL during his rookie season, and has missed 25 games or more in six of the last seven seasons, about to be seven of eight, excluding last year.

Obviously, he's very, very disappointed. I would almost describe it as numb," agent BB Abbott told the AP. "He knows this will be a big blow to the team. Obviously, he has been going very well recently and felt like he was really contributing to the team's success. This is real disappointing for him."

Hard to believe that Jones is that shocked by his most recent injury. At this point shouldn't he just expect it?

Update: Diamond Makes The Majors!

Updating a post from a couple weeks ago, Thomas Diamond has made it to the major leagues.

The man fought back from Tommy John surgery and a demon sprinkler and realized his childhood dream. It's been a remarkable run for Diamond, and what's even more impressive; Diamond dazzled in his debut.

He suffered the loss but struck out 10 in six innings, giving up three runs in the process.

The former first-round pick should be a valuable lesson to everyone out there who has suffered a freak injury.

Balfour Hurts Rib, "Horsing Around"

For any female readers out there, the simple explanation is that it's part of being a guy.

At least that's the only excuse Tampa Bay pitcher Grant Balfour can hope to use for the intercostal (rib area) strain he suffered before Friday's game while "horsing around" with pitching coach Jim Hickey.

"It's obviously very frustrating and obviously very avoidable now that you look back on it in retrospect," Friedman said. "Both guys were kidding around; it's what happens in a major league clubhouse all the time.

Every guy around the world is guilty of "horsing around" at some point in their life, but as is the case with many freak injuries featured on this site, one would hope a professional athlete in peak physical condition would be immune to sustaining injuries in situations like this.

Tampa responded to the loss of Balfour, a valuable piece of their bullpen, by acquiring Chad Qualls from the Arizona Diamondbacks.

"Just kind of a freaky thing, just messing around, pitching coach and the pitcher that know each other well doing some freakish thing, just interacting … something that guys do every day and nothing ever happens. It happened," Maddon said. "It's just a freaky, goofy thing

Balfour is expected to miss four-to-six weeks of action.

Phillie Phanatic Mascot Isn't The Only Crazy Guy At Ballpark

It may not count as a true physical injury, but when a guy throws up on you on purpose there's no doubt your pride and faith in the good of humanity are seriously wounded. But that's what happened on April 14th at a Philadelphia Phillies game, a team and city known for having unruly fans.

Matthew Clemmens, 21, of Cherry Hill, New Jersey was apparently displeased with a trio of spectators from Easton, Michael Vangelo, and his two daughters, ages 11 and 15, because they were offended by his friends' vulgar language.

Clemmens and friends were reportedly heckling the Vangelos throughout the game and even spit and poured beer on the family. Finally, Clemmens' friend was ejected and he responded by punching and "projectile-vomiting" on the man and his youngest daughter.

He faces one to three months in prison and 50 hours of community service.

The Philadelphia Eagles used to have a jail in the basement of Veteran Stadium and considering some of the incidents at Citizens Bank Ballpark lately, maybe it makes sense for a slammer to be installed there.

Throw Hits Rays Outfielder In The Worst Possible Spot

It's every man's worst nightmare: getting hit in the family jewels. It can happen when you least expect it, and the pain is excruciating. Rays outfielder Carl Crawford got hit square in the groin, and unfortunately was not wearing a cup.

"[Carl's] as good as can be expected. All of us males can understand that," Maddon said.

Last night, Crawford was leading off first when Jake Arrieta attempted to pick him off. Crawford tried to dash back but the ball was just a little out of first baseman Ty Wigginton's reach. The result was not pretty.

You can watch the video here.

Crawford suffered a testicular contusion, which sounds horrible. He says he has no plans to begin wearing protection for his groin as it would hinder his movements and ability to steal (Crawford is one of MLB's fastest players). Here's hoping he reconsiders.

Burnett Can't Find Pillow To Punch, Settles For Clubhouse Doors

You'd think pitchers (the guys who stand alone on the center of the baseball diamond with 30,000 eyes plastered on them for up to three hours on a given afternoon) would be used to handling pressure and far better than the average human at remaining calm, cool, and collected. But as AJ Burnett showed us this weekend, and Carlos Zambrano a dozen times before him, pitchers handle frustration the same way as the rest of us; by trying to break things.

After giving up three runs including a homer in the second inning of Saturday's start against the Rays, Burnett bulldozed into the clubhouse and smashed his hands, the primary tools of a pitcher, into a pair of swinging doors. Burnett cut both hands on the plastic containers affixed to the doors for team lineup cards and other paperwork.

"Out of all the doors, I picked the ones with the plexiglass," Burnett said. "I'm not the first player to snap. It's something I'll have to learn from."

Not only did Burnett have another rough outing and hurt himself in a freak injury, but he told Yankee trainers that he had hurt himself through a completely different freak injury, falling on stairs, which the media originally reported.

According to Fanhouse, the good news for Burnett is that he was able to use both hands effectively while text messaging after the game. So at least his ability to BBM his buddies wasn't affected.

Achoo! Pitcher Hurt Trying To Hold Back Sneeze

San Diego pitcher Mat Latos landed on the Disabled List on July 9th after hurting his ribs trying to suppress a sneeze. Latos has enjoyed a fantastic season thus far with a 10-4 record and 2.45 ERA but his attempt to keep his phlegm from escaping into the open air was a failure.

Latos, 22, joins former steroid-user Cubs superstar Sammy Sosa on the "Baseball Players Derailed By Sneezes" list.

Latos' injury may have been a blessing in disguise as the Padres were hoping to give his arm a bit of a break.

“Is it a big deal?” Latos said. “That depends on how it goes and how long I’ll miss. It’s sore. I am not going to lie.”

He is eligible to return on July 24th but the Padres are expected to check pollen levels before giving him the green light.

A Success Story! Pitcher Recovers From Sprinkler Injury

Former top pitching prospect Thomas Diamond started in yesterday's Triple A All Star Game for the Pacific Coast League and delivered two scoreless innings with two strikeouts. Normally that wouldn't be big news, but Diamond has taken a rather circuitous path in his baseball career.

Diamond, 27, was the 10th overall pick by the Texas Rangers in the 2004 MLB Draft. He was on the fast track to he majors until he was forced to undergo Tommy John surgery for elbow damage. Recovery from Tommy John surgery is routine in baseball, but it's a slow process. Getting back to full strength takes long enough, but when you trip over a sprinkler head in the outfield and cause further damage as Diamond did, it can get pretty frustrating.

Diamond underwent surgery in 2007 and after three years of struggling, he's back to form. So far this season he's posted a 5-3 record with a 2.69 ERA and 91 strikeouts. He may seem a bit old for a shot at the majors, but if Diamond has proven anything it's the value of perseverance.

Even in the face of a slew of freak injuries it's important to keep chugging along. Wile E. would know, he's an expert.

Dioner Navarro...Think Fast!!!

Tampa Bay Rays catcher Dioner Navarro was sidelined last month due to a stiff neck caused by...whiplash. Navarro had dropped his family off at the airport on June 9th and was trying to find them after parking his car. When he stepped off an elevator he looked right, then left, and felt a pop in his neck.

"When I looked to the left, my neck popped," Navarro said. "And it's been like that for four days. It's unbelievable. I'm a magnet for the freak stuff."

It's true, Navarro has had his share of bad luck. He was hit in the throat by a ball in 2007 and slashed his hand open on mesh netting when he slipped on dugout steps in 2008.

Navarro, who's struggling mightily this year, appears to be one of the unfortunate souls who is truly cursed. He's the type of person who would trip and fall over a black cat and break a mirror while trying to maneuever something under a ladder.

He's the type of person cartoons are made about, eh Wile E?

The One-Year Anniversary Of Ryan Dempster

Hat tip to JoeSportsFan for reminding me that today is the one-year anniversary of Ryan Dempster's hilarious injury. The poor pitcher was attempting to join his comrades in celebration of their victory over the Milwaukee Brewers when a particularly stubborn dugout fence sent him toppling to the ground. X-rays revealed a non-displaced fracture of his toe.

Dempster was bewildered about how such an innocent action could result in injury given the more dangerous incidents he'd been involved with just before:

"It's a weird thing. Three days before that I took a ball off the shin and kick-saved one to myself. And I took a ball off my face in batting practice, off the cage, and I was just fine. And then something as simple as that happens and I put myself on the DL."

But that's the thing with freak injuries, you never know when they'll strike. I just hope Joe West doesn't blame Dempster for adding a little extra time to games by being extra-cautious when exiting the dugout now.

Astros Struggle At A Lot Of Things This Year, Including Putting on Shirts

Geoff Blum is 37 which is old for a baseball player, but not so old he should be hurting himself doing simple everyday tasks, like putting on a shirt. But that's exactly what happened July 1st after Blum's Astros beat the San Diego Padres.

Blum pulled a shirt over his head and felt a pop in his elbow. He underwent an MRI on Friday which revealed "loose bodies" in his elbow, but he is not expected to miss much time. The injury was simply a result of a lot of mileage on Blum's body, but if professional athletes can't put on shirts unharmed there's not much hope for the rest of us.

Astros manager Brad Mills had a particularly enlightening description of the injury: “He was putting on his shirt after the game and his elbow goes boom. It popped, and it blew up on him.”

Of course, when your team has a record of 32-51, tied for third-worst in baseball, not a whole lot of things are going right. When putting on shirts becomes a problem, it's time for them to make some changes.

Luke Scott Joins Morales, Hurts Self Celebrating Home Run

As often as Kendry Morales has relived his unfortunate injury while celebrating a home run earlier this season, at least now he has company. On June 30th, Orioles outfielder Luke Scott launched a homer in the seventh inning that gave the O's a one run lead over the Oakland Athletics, and left Scott with a pulled hamstring.

Scott's adrenaline was flowing as he rounded first base and he says his hammy cramped up and was pulled as his leg lurched forward.

The footage of this injury reminds me of one of the old Madden games I played as a kid. Every so often, the ball carrier would be running full speed ahead only to suddenly reach back, clutching his hamstring and stumbling along until the CPU defenders converged on him and slammed him into the turf. Happened to me once with a clear path to the end zone against a friend; the stupid player went from being 20 yards ahead of the nearest opponent to utterly useless in a tenth of a second. AND I didn't score on the posession.

Not the greatest way to celebrate a homer, but at least Kendry has some company. There's nothing worse than being alone to lick your wounds, right Wile E?

When You Pay To Watch The Yankees, Watch The Yankees

Know all those clips they play at the movie theater begging you not to use your phone during the film?

They apply to baseball games too.

At Tuesday's Yankee game, a foul ball went careened down the right field line and bounced into the stands, clobbering a jabbering fan in the face. Of course this should be expected in New York, the city that doesn't sleep or ever stop talking on the phone.

Damn kids with their technology.

Though this occurred during my hiatus, it's too good to skip.

What should have been a celebratory moment in the young career of one of baseball's newest stars turned tragic when Angels first baseman Kendry Morales broke his leg after jumping onto home plate in celebration of a walk-off Grand Slam on May 29th.



The "jump around like a bunch of idiots" celebration that has become so trendy in baseball has caused other injuries, but Morales' is the most severe thus far. Some teams have taken steps to outlaw or prevent this goofiness in the future. It's amazing that the least-contact of the major sports has so many injuries like this.

Morales' isn't the best, or worst, celebration of all time, however. That honor still belongs to the one and only Bill Gramatica.



Woulda been nice if the Road Runner got hurt one of those times he was gloating over his triumphs over Wile E.