Don't Mess With Hurricanes

Read an interesting CNN piece today about how hurricane waves can cause damage to innocent ocean swimmers that most people probably don't realize.

Aside from the known damage that hurricanes can cause to property and human life, Dr. Roy Cragway Jr. a physician with Atlantic General Hospital in Berlin, Maryland says that hurricane waves can cause a variety of less obvious damage.

Hurricane Danielle never reached the US, but swimmers still acquired cervical and shoulder damage. Additionally, hurricane waves can be so forceful that they can rupture eardrums. Usually ear damage is slight, bur Dr. Cragway says surgery is sometimes required.

Of course, Cragway also mentions that you can break your neck diving into water and a handful of other freak injuries that can happen any day at the beach. Nevertheless, hurricanes are obviously not worth messing with.

The Danger Of Plane Beverage Carts

Jerome Boateng, 22, a new signing for Manchester City, will be out several weeks after aggravating a previously existing knee injury when an airplane beverage cart smashed into him.

Boateng originally tore a tendon in his knee during an actual soccer game in early August, but he was recovering fine until his latest mishap.

"I imagined my start at City to be quite different, of course," Boateng says.

The demon beverage cart has delayed Boateng's return at least a month.

I'm terrified of flying because I'm scared of heights. Never accounted for the dangers of the plane's soda armories.

Loop, Swoop And Pull vs. Bunny Ears

I've always found freak injuries to be funny, but they're even better when they happen to guys who are paid to keep their bodies in superhuman shape like professional athletes. Sure, we all hurt ourselves doing something stupid from time to time. That's life. But when a professional baseball player hurts himself trying to tie his shoes, a difficult activity for a third grader, sure, but not an athlete, I lose it.

Sure enough, pitcher Ricky Nolasco of the Florida Marlins was bent over tying his shoes last week when he felt a sharp pain in his knee, an injury that turned out to be a torn meniscus.

"Obviously, it's the toughest thing I've ever dealt with on the baseball field," said Nolasco, who has won 13 or more games in each of the past three seasons. "Nobody understands what it's like until they actually deal with it. There's not much I can do now."

The injury was originally considered to be a possible season-ender, but Nolasco has made incredible strides in just nine days and may make his next start. I guess that's where the professional athlete advantage comes in. If you or I tore our meniscus tying our shoes, it would take way more than nine days to heal.

But still, come'on Ricky, loop, swoop and pull, it's not that hard! You're on my fantasy team, I need you!

Pogo Stick Back Flips = Certain Fall

Saw this on Tosh.0 the other day and had to pass it along. This guy somehow does eight or nine back flips on a pogo stick down his street before (spoiler alert!) taking an epic fall. He got right up and seems OK, but since the fall was epic and the feat was unbelievable on its own I think we can include it on Wile E.

Injury Oopsie!

We can only assume that Tim MacMahon of ESPN Dallas was trying to explain that rookie Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant was able to make sharp cuts while running at practice today, but MacMahon's actual story could have used a quick read-through. The actual text says that "Bryant ran and cut off his right foot for the first time since suffering the injury during a July 30 practice."

Chris Liss of Rotowire caught the error this morning, but it has yet to be corrected on ESPN's site.

Bryant is attempting to recover from a high-ankle sprain that has plagued him for much of training camp. He won't play in Sunday's game against the Houston Texans, but a return to action isn't far off since Bryant's foot is indeed still attached to his body.

Stingray Tail Impales 10-Year-Old

Touch tank aquariums around the globe may have to reconsider their stance on allowing human contact with stingrays. Quentin Tokar, 10, joins The Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin, on the list of people who have recently been seriously injured by the velvety sea creatures.

Tokar was on vacation in the Outer Banks with his family last week when a nearby fisherman caught a stingray. He tried to pull the animal's long, pointy tail off (I assume because it's inedible?) but the dagger went flying. It came to a stop, impaled in Tokar's chest, and hitting his liver.

Tokar estimates that the tail flew eight to ten feet through the air before nestling in his body. The five inch barb was almost entirely absorbed by his body.

"I don't really have words for what it felt like. I just pretty much started screaming, 'Get it outta me,'" he said.

Tokar was rushed to Johns Hopkins Children’s Center where the tail was removed. He is expected to make a full recovery.

Apparently a nurse happened to be on site at the pier and prevented Tokar from almost certain death. Irwin pulled the tail out of his body following his stingray encounter and quickly died from blood loss. Bystanders wanted to do the same for Tokar and while that would seem like a normal reaction, it is exactly the opposite of what you should do. The nurse ensured that Tokar didn't suffer Irwin's fate.

So if you ever get impaled by a stingray tail, don't pull it out. Seek professional help.

Chipper Is Out...Again

If I listed Mark Prior, Ken Griffey Jr., Jake Peavy, Carl Pavano, Chipper Jones and Kerry Wood together, I’ll bet the first thing that comes to your mind is that these guys are among the most injury prone baseball players in the world.

Some guys are just cursed. No matter how hard they train, how healthy they eat, and how careful they are, they get hurt year after year. Chipper could be the captain of the Al-Injury Prone team, and sure enough, he’s out for the season after tearing his ACL in Tuesday night’s game.

Jones also tore his ACL during his rookie season, and has missed 25 games or more in six of the last seven seasons, about to be seven of eight, excluding last year.

Obviously, he's very, very disappointed. I would almost describe it as numb," agent BB Abbott told the AP. "He knows this will be a big blow to the team. Obviously, he has been going very well recently and felt like he was really contributing to the team's success. This is real disappointing for him."

Hard to believe that Jones is that shocked by his most recent injury. At this point shouldn't he just expect it?

Man vs. Wild Star Hurt By Flying Camera

Even the most bad-ass among us can suffer freak injuries. Bear Grylls, of Discovery Channel's "Man Vs. Wild" has eaten snakes and animal eyeballs, drunk his own urine, climbed Mt Everest, and jumped out of more planes than he can count. But while filming a recent episode of MvW he was airlifted from a mountainside after injuring his leg.

Grylls was charging down a snowy mountain and had to use an ice pick to stop his momentum. However, his quick maneuver didn't stop the momentum of a camera which came crashing into his leg after barely missing his head. A report from Entertainment Weekly says that Grylls' cameraman was temporarily blinded by the snow and lost grip of his camera, causing the near-disaster.

The crew was taken to a hospital but no one was seriously injured, though you can be sure Grylls has some nasty bruising.

"It was a wake-up call," he added. "You've just got to get it right every time. You live with danger a lot and you can get blase, and just can't do that."

This guy has defied death and serious bodily harm more than anyone, and an inanimate object almost brought him to his end. I shudder to think what's going to happen to the poor souls who accompanied Bear on Fan vs. Wild, an episode that will air this fall.

Woman Smashes Stiletto Through Boyfriend's Eye

Well this is pretty nasty. A young woman and her boyfriend were enjoying a booze-filled night on the town until they started fighting. It culminated in the taxi ride home when Staci Hargreaves, 34, kicked her boyfriend, Gavin Taylor, 28, in the face with her stiletto. The heel went through Taylor's eye socket, fracturing it, and damaged a blood vessel in his brain.

Disgusting, right?

Judge Roger Hunt ruled that there was not a convincing case or enough evidence to prosecute Hargreaves partly because both Hargreaves and another male friend in the cab both claim that they were too drunk to remember anything that happened (can't remember, or don't want to?).

The trio spent the night drinking heavily in Huddersfield and the couple was reportedly arguing for much of the night. On their way home to Stalybridge, Cheshire, the dispute escalated and when Taylor turned around in the front seat to face her, Hargreaves planted her foot in his face.

Taylor spent a month in the hospital but has since made a 'remarkable' recovery.

I've always thought stilettos looked incredibly uncomfortable for the woman wearing them. Never considered that that pointy heal could end up impaling someone.

Update: Diamond Makes The Majors!

Updating a post from a couple weeks ago, Thomas Diamond has made it to the major leagues.

The man fought back from Tommy John surgery and a demon sprinkler and realized his childhood dream. It's been a remarkable run for Diamond, and what's even more impressive; Diamond dazzled in his debut.

He suffered the loss but struck out 10 in six innings, giving up three runs in the process.

The former first-round pick should be a valuable lesson to everyone out there who has suffered a freak injury.

Bull Rider Breaks Collar Bone Trying To Help Vet

Maybe it's because I'm from New Jersey, but I've never really understood the allure of the rodeo. Still, I've suffered enough bruises from riding mechanical bulls in my time that I can only imagine how painful getting thrown from a real life bull must be.

Turns out, getting thrown off a bull isn't the only way bull riders get hurt. Jake Hayworth was attempting to aid a veterinarian in treating a bull earlier this year when the animal got loose and took off. Hayworth chased after it and ended up breaking his collar bone and hurting his shoulder.

Kudos to Hayworth for trying to make sure his colleagues received proper health care, but maybe this should be a lesson that giant beasts aren't meant to be ridden by humans. Just a thought.

Balfour Hurts Rib, "Horsing Around"

For any female readers out there, the simple explanation is that it's part of being a guy.

At least that's the only excuse Tampa Bay pitcher Grant Balfour can hope to use for the intercostal (rib area) strain he suffered before Friday's game while "horsing around" with pitching coach Jim Hickey.

"It's obviously very frustrating and obviously very avoidable now that you look back on it in retrospect," Friedman said. "Both guys were kidding around; it's what happens in a major league clubhouse all the time.

Every guy around the world is guilty of "horsing around" at some point in their life, but as is the case with many freak injuries featured on this site, one would hope a professional athlete in peak physical condition would be immune to sustaining injuries in situations like this.

Tampa responded to the loss of Balfour, a valuable piece of their bullpen, by acquiring Chad Qualls from the Arizona Diamondbacks.

"Just kind of a freaky thing, just messing around, pitching coach and the pitcher that know each other well doing some freakish thing, just interacting … something that guys do every day and nothing ever happens. It happened," Maddon said. "It's just a freaky, goofy thing

Balfour is expected to miss four-to-six weeks of action.

Phillie Phanatic Mascot Isn't The Only Crazy Guy At Ballpark

It may not count as a true physical injury, but when a guy throws up on you on purpose there's no doubt your pride and faith in the good of humanity are seriously wounded. But that's what happened on April 14th at a Philadelphia Phillies game, a team and city known for having unruly fans.

Matthew Clemmens, 21, of Cherry Hill, New Jersey was apparently displeased with a trio of spectators from Easton, Michael Vangelo, and his two daughters, ages 11 and 15, because they were offended by his friends' vulgar language.

Clemmens and friends were reportedly heckling the Vangelos throughout the game and even spit and poured beer on the family. Finally, Clemmens' friend was ejected and he responded by punching and "projectile-vomiting" on the man and his youngest daughter.

He faces one to three months in prison and 50 hours of community service.

The Philadelphia Eagles used to have a jail in the basement of Veteran Stadium and considering some of the incidents at Citizens Bank Ballpark lately, maybe it makes sense for a slammer to be installed there.

UNF Pitcher Bitten By Shark

Discovery Channel's Shark Week, set to debut Sunday, is a good bet to have a bump in viewers this year given the unusually high number of bites that have occurred already this summer.

The latest victim was University of North Florida pitcher Clayton Schulz, 20, who was bitten by what he believes was a shark, though authorities have yet to confirm, Friday afternoon while surfing at Jacksonville Beach.

Schulz's wound required 400(!) stitches to close but the pitcher remains optimistic that he will play baseball this year. "I'm lucky. I still have a foot, and they expect me to hopefully make close to a 100 percent recovery," he said.

"I had a pretty firm grip on my board, so he didn't pull me under or anything, but he let me go when he realized I wasn't what he was looking for," Schulz said.

Schulz, a junior business management major, was scheduled to speak with the media today. He appears to be in good shape.

Be careful if you're going into the water!

Soccer Player Spills Boiling Water On Foot

Coffee addiction has become one of the most common problems in the world and even professional athletes need their morning fixes. Jame Langfield, the goalie for Aberdeen, was recently making a cup on his team's bus when he spilled boiling water on his foot.

Langfield, 30, suffered burns and will miss training camp and is expected to be out of action for at least three weeks.

The injury to Langfield brings to mind and incident last year in which Scottish soccer player Kirk Broadfoot was poaching eggs in his microwave and splashed scalding water on his face.

The recent string of breakfast related injuries should be a warning to all.

Ice Hockey Player Hurt Participating In Sport's Tamer Foreign Cousin

Canucks defenseman Sami Salo tore his Achilles tendon while playing a modified version of Floor Hockey called Floorball. Ironically the guys who pedal the sport in videos on the Web site claim that Floorball is cheap, easy, and safe.

While that may usually be the case, the Canucks might beg to differ from here on out.

Apparently Floorball is extremely popular in Europe and boasts about two million players globally, but this is the first I've heard of it, and I'm as big a hockey fanatic as there is.

Many ice hockey players utilize the sport(?) as a training tool including professionals like Marian Gaborik, Marian Hossa, Henrik Sedin, Daniel Sedin, John Tavares, and Victor Hedman. That's some pretty solid company, but before NHL teams encourage their players to participate I'm guessing they'll be doing some research on the health risks involved.

Floorball players are required to wear literally no padding, though some choose to use shin guards, eye protectors, and things to protect "other vital areas." I'm guessing that's a reference to a piece of equipment Carl Crawford feels is unnecessary.

Floorball has never gotten this much exposure, so though Salo was an unfortunate victim, the guys who are trying to make this activity mainstream probably couldn't be happier.

Throw Hits Rays Outfielder In The Worst Possible Spot

It's every man's worst nightmare: getting hit in the family jewels. It can happen when you least expect it, and the pain is excruciating. Rays outfielder Carl Crawford got hit square in the groin, and unfortunately was not wearing a cup.

"[Carl's] as good as can be expected. All of us males can understand that," Maddon said.

Last night, Crawford was leading off first when Jake Arrieta attempted to pick him off. Crawford tried to dash back but the ball was just a little out of first baseman Ty Wigginton's reach. The result was not pretty.

You can watch the video here.

Crawford suffered a testicular contusion, which sounds horrible. He says he has no plans to begin wearing protection for his groin as it would hinder his movements and ability to steal (Crawford is one of MLB's fastest players). Here's hoping he reconsiders.

Burnett Can't Find Pillow To Punch, Settles For Clubhouse Doors

You'd think pitchers (the guys who stand alone on the center of the baseball diamond with 30,000 eyes plastered on them for up to three hours on a given afternoon) would be used to handling pressure and far better than the average human at remaining calm, cool, and collected. But as AJ Burnett showed us this weekend, and Carlos Zambrano a dozen times before him, pitchers handle frustration the same way as the rest of us; by trying to break things.

After giving up three runs including a homer in the second inning of Saturday's start against the Rays, Burnett bulldozed into the clubhouse and smashed his hands, the primary tools of a pitcher, into a pair of swinging doors. Burnett cut both hands on the plastic containers affixed to the doors for team lineup cards and other paperwork.

"Out of all the doors, I picked the ones with the plexiglass," Burnett said. "I'm not the first player to snap. It's something I'll have to learn from."

Not only did Burnett have another rough outing and hurt himself in a freak injury, but he told Yankee trainers that he had hurt himself through a completely different freak injury, falling on stairs, which the media originally reported.

According to Fanhouse, the good news for Burnett is that he was able to use both hands effectively while text messaging after the game. So at least his ability to BBM his buddies wasn't affected.

Achoo! Pitcher Hurt Trying To Hold Back Sneeze

San Diego pitcher Mat Latos landed on the Disabled List on July 9th after hurting his ribs trying to suppress a sneeze. Latos has enjoyed a fantastic season thus far with a 10-4 record and 2.45 ERA but his attempt to keep his phlegm from escaping into the open air was a failure.

Latos, 22, joins former steroid-user Cubs superstar Sammy Sosa on the "Baseball Players Derailed By Sneezes" list.

Latos' injury may have been a blessing in disguise as the Padres were hoping to give his arm a bit of a break.

“Is it a big deal?” Latos said. “That depends on how it goes and how long I’ll miss. It’s sore. I am not going to lie.”

He is eligible to return on July 24th but the Padres are expected to check pollen levels before giving him the green light.

A Success Story! Pitcher Recovers From Sprinkler Injury

Former top pitching prospect Thomas Diamond started in yesterday's Triple A All Star Game for the Pacific Coast League and delivered two scoreless innings with two strikeouts. Normally that wouldn't be big news, but Diamond has taken a rather circuitous path in his baseball career.

Diamond, 27, was the 10th overall pick by the Texas Rangers in the 2004 MLB Draft. He was on the fast track to he majors until he was forced to undergo Tommy John surgery for elbow damage. Recovery from Tommy John surgery is routine in baseball, but it's a slow process. Getting back to full strength takes long enough, but when you trip over a sprinkler head in the outfield and cause further damage as Diamond did, it can get pretty frustrating.

Diamond underwent surgery in 2007 and after three years of struggling, he's back to form. So far this season he's posted a 5-3 record with a 2.69 ERA and 91 strikeouts. He may seem a bit old for a shot at the majors, but if Diamond has proven anything it's the value of perseverance.

Even in the face of a slew of freak injuries it's important to keep chugging along. Wile E. would know, he's an expert.

Dioner Navarro...Think Fast!!!

Tampa Bay Rays catcher Dioner Navarro was sidelined last month due to a stiff neck caused by...whiplash. Navarro had dropped his family off at the airport on June 9th and was trying to find them after parking his car. When he stepped off an elevator he looked right, then left, and felt a pop in his neck.

"When I looked to the left, my neck popped," Navarro said. "And it's been like that for four days. It's unbelievable. I'm a magnet for the freak stuff."

It's true, Navarro has had his share of bad luck. He was hit in the throat by a ball in 2007 and slashed his hand open on mesh netting when he slipped on dugout steps in 2008.

Navarro, who's struggling mightily this year, appears to be one of the unfortunate souls who is truly cursed. He's the type of person who would trip and fall over a black cat and break a mirror while trying to maneuever something under a ladder.

He's the type of person cartoons are made about, eh Wile E?

Brawl At The Tour de France!

It wasn't quite the Palace Brawl, but any fight in the tame sport of cycling is worth examining. Following Stage 6 of the Tour de France today Carlos Barredo and Rui Costa exchanged blows and Barredo even tried to smash his spare bike wheel on the Costa's head. \

Tour De France Rider Hits Opponent With Wheel - Watch more Sports
Bicycling isn't exactly a contact sport so seeing two guys wearing spandex and goofy helmets try to punch each other's lights out is pretty unique. It appears the Tour organizers don't really have experience issuing punishments for this kind of misbehavior as both riders will be allowed to continue the Tour and were only fined "400 Swiss Francs (about $380 US dollars) for 'insults, threats and incorrect behaviour.'" Neither miscreant has reported any injuries thus far, but they're sure to have some bumps and bruises.

There have been many steroid rumors and investigations over the last several years in cycling but very little has been definitively proven. Today's clash looks like a clear case of Roid Rage if you ask me.

The One-Year Anniversary Of Ryan Dempster

Hat tip to JoeSportsFan for reminding me that today is the one-year anniversary of Ryan Dempster's hilarious injury. The poor pitcher was attempting to join his comrades in celebration of their victory over the Milwaukee Brewers when a particularly stubborn dugout fence sent him toppling to the ground. X-rays revealed a non-displaced fracture of his toe.

Dempster was bewildered about how such an innocent action could result in injury given the more dangerous incidents he'd been involved with just before:

"It's a weird thing. Three days before that I took a ball off the shin and kick-saved one to myself. And I took a ball off my face in batting practice, off the cage, and I was just fine. And then something as simple as that happens and I put myself on the DL."

But that's the thing with freak injuries, you never know when they'll strike. I just hope Joe West doesn't blame Dempster for adding a little extra time to games by being extra-cautious when exiting the dugout now.

Astros Struggle At A Lot Of Things This Year, Including Putting on Shirts

Geoff Blum is 37 which is old for a baseball player, but not so old he should be hurting himself doing simple everyday tasks, like putting on a shirt. But that's exactly what happened July 1st after Blum's Astros beat the San Diego Padres.

Blum pulled a shirt over his head and felt a pop in his elbow. He underwent an MRI on Friday which revealed "loose bodies" in his elbow, but he is not expected to miss much time. The injury was simply a result of a lot of mileage on Blum's body, but if professional athletes can't put on shirts unharmed there's not much hope for the rest of us.

Astros manager Brad Mills had a particularly enlightening description of the injury: “He was putting on his shirt after the game and his elbow goes boom. It popped, and it blew up on him.”

Of course, when your team has a record of 32-51, tied for third-worst in baseball, not a whole lot of things are going right. When putting on shirts becomes a problem, it's time for them to make some changes.

Luke Scott Joins Morales, Hurts Self Celebrating Home Run

As often as Kendry Morales has relived his unfortunate injury while celebrating a home run earlier this season, at least now he has company. On June 30th, Orioles outfielder Luke Scott launched a homer in the seventh inning that gave the O's a one run lead over the Oakland Athletics, and left Scott with a pulled hamstring.

Scott's adrenaline was flowing as he rounded first base and he says his hammy cramped up and was pulled as his leg lurched forward.

The footage of this injury reminds me of one of the old Madden games I played as a kid. Every so often, the ball carrier would be running full speed ahead only to suddenly reach back, clutching his hamstring and stumbling along until the CPU defenders converged on him and slammed him into the turf. Happened to me once with a clear path to the end zone against a friend; the stupid player went from being 20 yards ahead of the nearest opponent to utterly useless in a tenth of a second. AND I didn't score on the posession.

Not the greatest way to celebrate a homer, but at least Kendry has some company. There's nothing worse than being alone to lick your wounds, right Wile E?

When You Pay To Watch The Yankees, Watch The Yankees

Know all those clips they play at the movie theater begging you not to use your phone during the film?

They apply to baseball games too.

At Tuesday's Yankee game, a foul ball went careened down the right field line and bounced into the stands, clobbering a jabbering fan in the face. Of course this should be expected in New York, the city that doesn't sleep or ever stop talking on the phone.

Damn kids with their technology.

Rogue Golf Ball Disables Teenage Competitor

Seventeen-year-old golfer Matteo Manassero was forced to withdraw from the pro-am of the French Open this week after being hit on the hand by somebody else's errant golf ball.

I really, really suck at golf. And I admit, the few times I have gone golfing, my head has constantly been on a swivel because I'm convinced that a stray golf ball is going to nail me on the head. It's one of those embarrassing things you don't want people to notice, but I now feel completely justified thanks to Manassero.

Some other guy was also forced to withdraw from the tournament this week due to an insect bite, a recurring theme this week.

I don't know if I consider golf a sport, and both of these instances are kind of wussy, but at least Manassero gives me a reason to post one of my favorite movie clips of all time (NSFW):

Bed Bugs Infest Hollister

Back in high school my friends and I organized scavenger hunts designed to make us do embarrassing and humorous tasks. One of them was to enter a local Hollister clothing store with a flashlight and pretend that we needed it to find something in the store.

I also know of a mother in my town who went to Hollister with her daughter for the first time but decided to leave after a few minutes because the lack of light convinced her the store had experienced a power failure.

Hollister's puzzling decision to keep it's retail store in the dark has been the subject of many jokes and confusion nationwide. But even the many of us who mock Hollister never could have seen this story coming.

It turns out that a New York SoHo branch has had an infestation of bed bugs. You know, the critters who live in and around your mattresses, in the dark.

Hollister employees began noticing the insects about a month ago, but their complaints fell on deaf ears. Soon enough, several employees were covered in bed bug bites.

Lesley Kennedy writes, "Bedbugs only feed at night, and if you've ever been inside Hollister, you know that it is almost completely dark. I'm sure you can imagine the store has become a bedbug breeding ground since it was first exposed. Go Hollister!"

Well then.

As Wile E. would probably advise you, its not wise to enter a dimly lit cave without first knowing what surprises lie inside.

Don't Mess With Barracudas, They Mean Business

Fishing is supposed to be the ultimate leisure activity right? Lounging in the hot sun on a boat while your line dangles across the bright blue ocean may be paradise for many, but not the Wira family. Today, Kora Wira, 14, and her family were enjoying a fishing excursion off the coast of Florida where they were attempting to catch sharks and barracudas. Some animals aren't good for human interaction, as they soon found out. Wira got a bite from a four-foot barraccuda, who, instead of cooperating and getting reeled in, jumped from the water and sunk its teeth into Kira's arm. The wound required 51 stitches to close, but Wira is expected to be alright.

Mr. Wira sprung to his daughter's rescue and quickly jabbed a knife into the barracuda's head, ending it's rebellious life.

As a strong believer in animal rights, I can't help but have mixed feelings on this one. Obviously I don't wish harm on anyone, let alone a young girl, and I hope that she recovers quickly from this terrible accident. But I also think fishing is a pretty silly, and stupid, activity, especially when the fish caught aren't even being eaten. If you had a hook thrust into your mouth, you wouldn't feel very good either, so I don't blame the barracuda for being feisty. What happened to Kira was scary and dangerous, and I wish her all the best, but maybe people shouldn't be fishing in the first place.

Though this occurred during my hiatus, it's too good to skip.

What should have been a celebratory moment in the young career of one of baseball's newest stars turned tragic when Angels first baseman Kendry Morales broke his leg after jumping onto home plate in celebration of a walk-off Grand Slam on May 29th.



The "jump around like a bunch of idiots" celebration that has become so trendy in baseball has caused other injuries, but Morales' is the most severe thus far. Some teams have taken steps to outlaw or prevent this goofiness in the future. It's amazing that the least-contact of the major sports has so many injuries like this.

Morales' isn't the best, or worst, celebration of all time, however. That honor still belongs to the one and only Bill Gramatica.



Woulda been nice if the Road Runner got hurt one of those times he was gloating over his triumphs over Wile E.

Cyrus Almost Injured Because Of Untamed Production Equipment

It's always funny when God displays his sense of humor. Earlier this month, on the set of Miley Cyrus's new movie, Hannah Montana: The Movie, an errant piece of production equipment crashed into a ferris wheel, injuring several people.

It seems that God wanted to halt production of this insult to cinema, or at least cause the people behind it some level of pain in return for the pain parents will feel when they are forced to take their screaming adolescent daughters to see the film. Fortunately, Ms. Cyrus wasn't injured, as she'd just finished filming a scene on an adjacent stage.

The good news is that shooting has resumed and the move is still on schedule, which calls for a party in the USA.

Bet Wile E. would rather fall of a cliff than see this flick.

Katy Perry is Crazy

I don't know much about the pop music scene these days, but based on her newest video, in which Snoop Dogg plays Candy Land as Perry and friends dance around in cupcake bikinis and shoot whipped cream from their chests, I do know that Katy Perry is a little bit crazy.



She must be a little crazy on the dance floor too, because last weekend at a club in Toronto she cut her leg when she "fell" on the dance floor, a wound that required 17 stitches to close.

Playing off the success of her latest single, Perry joked that she might need a "candy cane walker" to perform the next concerts on her tour.

It's always good to have a sense of humor about your injuries, eh Wile E?

Combative Panthers Star Gets Hurt Playing Flag Football

Everyone agrees that American football is a pretty violent game, and its widely held that Carolina Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith is as tough as they come. The diminutive nine-year veteran has been among the league's best wide-outs since 2002 despite his size, and has never shied from physical play. But last Thursday, Smith's reckless style got the best of him when he fractured his arm playing...flag football. Not the ruthless game he's paid to play in which 300 lb gladiators crash into each other for three hours, but the little sister of the NFL where players "tackle" each other by stripping yellow flags from their opposition.

For his part, Smith is adamant that he plays football for more than money, that he can't help playing the sport merely for fun in the offseason. That's an admirable attitude to have, except when it results in injury.

He doesn't seem to be too worried about the wrath of the Panthers organization over his careless injury either, “Outside of football, I mow my grass, too,” he said. “You know, I can get my finger chopped off fixing my lawnmower. You know, I’ve almost rolled my ankle sitting playing tag or slip-and-slide with my kids in the backyard.”

Smith may have been joking, but those things happen randomly every day, as Wile E. can attest.