UNF Pitcher Bitten By Shark

Discovery Channel's Shark Week, set to debut Sunday, is a good bet to have a bump in viewers this year given the unusually high number of bites that have occurred already this summer.

The latest victim was University of North Florida pitcher Clayton Schulz, 20, who was bitten by what he believes was a shark, though authorities have yet to confirm, Friday afternoon while surfing at Jacksonville Beach.

Schulz's wound required 400(!) stitches to close but the pitcher remains optimistic that he will play baseball this year. "I'm lucky. I still have a foot, and they expect me to hopefully make close to a 100 percent recovery," he said.

"I had a pretty firm grip on my board, so he didn't pull me under or anything, but he let me go when he realized I wasn't what he was looking for," Schulz said.

Schulz, a junior business management major, was scheduled to speak with the media today. He appears to be in good shape.

Be careful if you're going into the water!

Soccer Player Spills Boiling Water On Foot

Coffee addiction has become one of the most common problems in the world and even professional athletes need their morning fixes. Jame Langfield, the goalie for Aberdeen, was recently making a cup on his team's bus when he spilled boiling water on his foot.

Langfield, 30, suffered burns and will miss training camp and is expected to be out of action for at least three weeks.

The injury to Langfield brings to mind and incident last year in which Scottish soccer player Kirk Broadfoot was poaching eggs in his microwave and splashed scalding water on his face.

The recent string of breakfast related injuries should be a warning to all.

Ice Hockey Player Hurt Participating In Sport's Tamer Foreign Cousin

Canucks defenseman Sami Salo tore his Achilles tendon while playing a modified version of Floor Hockey called Floorball. Ironically the guys who pedal the sport in videos on the Web site claim that Floorball is cheap, easy, and safe.

While that may usually be the case, the Canucks might beg to differ from here on out.

Apparently Floorball is extremely popular in Europe and boasts about two million players globally, but this is the first I've heard of it, and I'm as big a hockey fanatic as there is.

Many ice hockey players utilize the sport(?) as a training tool including professionals like Marian Gaborik, Marian Hossa, Henrik Sedin, Daniel Sedin, John Tavares, and Victor Hedman. That's some pretty solid company, but before NHL teams encourage their players to participate I'm guessing they'll be doing some research on the health risks involved.

Floorball players are required to wear literally no padding, though some choose to use shin guards, eye protectors, and things to protect "other vital areas." I'm guessing that's a reference to a piece of equipment Carl Crawford feels is unnecessary.

Floorball has never gotten this much exposure, so though Salo was an unfortunate victim, the guys who are trying to make this activity mainstream probably couldn't be happier.

Throw Hits Rays Outfielder In The Worst Possible Spot

It's every man's worst nightmare: getting hit in the family jewels. It can happen when you least expect it, and the pain is excruciating. Rays outfielder Carl Crawford got hit square in the groin, and unfortunately was not wearing a cup.

"[Carl's] as good as can be expected. All of us males can understand that," Maddon said.

Last night, Crawford was leading off first when Jake Arrieta attempted to pick him off. Crawford tried to dash back but the ball was just a little out of first baseman Ty Wigginton's reach. The result was not pretty.

You can watch the video here.

Crawford suffered a testicular contusion, which sounds horrible. He says he has no plans to begin wearing protection for his groin as it would hinder his movements and ability to steal (Crawford is one of MLB's fastest players). Here's hoping he reconsiders.

Burnett Can't Find Pillow To Punch, Settles For Clubhouse Doors

You'd think pitchers (the guys who stand alone on the center of the baseball diamond with 30,000 eyes plastered on them for up to three hours on a given afternoon) would be used to handling pressure and far better than the average human at remaining calm, cool, and collected. But as AJ Burnett showed us this weekend, and Carlos Zambrano a dozen times before him, pitchers handle frustration the same way as the rest of us; by trying to break things.

After giving up three runs including a homer in the second inning of Saturday's start against the Rays, Burnett bulldozed into the clubhouse and smashed his hands, the primary tools of a pitcher, into a pair of swinging doors. Burnett cut both hands on the plastic containers affixed to the doors for team lineup cards and other paperwork.

"Out of all the doors, I picked the ones with the plexiglass," Burnett said. "I'm not the first player to snap. It's something I'll have to learn from."

Not only did Burnett have another rough outing and hurt himself in a freak injury, but he told Yankee trainers that he had hurt himself through a completely different freak injury, falling on stairs, which the media originally reported.

According to Fanhouse, the good news for Burnett is that he was able to use both hands effectively while text messaging after the game. So at least his ability to BBM his buddies wasn't affected.

Achoo! Pitcher Hurt Trying To Hold Back Sneeze

San Diego pitcher Mat Latos landed on the Disabled List on July 9th after hurting his ribs trying to suppress a sneeze. Latos has enjoyed a fantastic season thus far with a 10-4 record and 2.45 ERA but his attempt to keep his phlegm from escaping into the open air was a failure.

Latos, 22, joins former steroid-user Cubs superstar Sammy Sosa on the "Baseball Players Derailed By Sneezes" list.

Latos' injury may have been a blessing in disguise as the Padres were hoping to give his arm a bit of a break.

“Is it a big deal?” Latos said. “That depends on how it goes and how long I’ll miss. It’s sore. I am not going to lie.”

He is eligible to return on July 24th but the Padres are expected to check pollen levels before giving him the green light.

A Success Story! Pitcher Recovers From Sprinkler Injury

Former top pitching prospect Thomas Diamond started in yesterday's Triple A All Star Game for the Pacific Coast League and delivered two scoreless innings with two strikeouts. Normally that wouldn't be big news, but Diamond has taken a rather circuitous path in his baseball career.

Diamond, 27, was the 10th overall pick by the Texas Rangers in the 2004 MLB Draft. He was on the fast track to he majors until he was forced to undergo Tommy John surgery for elbow damage. Recovery from Tommy John surgery is routine in baseball, but it's a slow process. Getting back to full strength takes long enough, but when you trip over a sprinkler head in the outfield and cause further damage as Diamond did, it can get pretty frustrating.

Diamond underwent surgery in 2007 and after three years of struggling, he's back to form. So far this season he's posted a 5-3 record with a 2.69 ERA and 91 strikeouts. He may seem a bit old for a shot at the majors, but if Diamond has proven anything it's the value of perseverance.

Even in the face of a slew of freak injuries it's important to keep chugging along. Wile E. would know, he's an expert.

Dioner Navarro...Think Fast!!!

Tampa Bay Rays catcher Dioner Navarro was sidelined last month due to a stiff neck caused by...whiplash. Navarro had dropped his family off at the airport on June 9th and was trying to find them after parking his car. When he stepped off an elevator he looked right, then left, and felt a pop in his neck.

"When I looked to the left, my neck popped," Navarro said. "And it's been like that for four days. It's unbelievable. I'm a magnet for the freak stuff."

It's true, Navarro has had his share of bad luck. He was hit in the throat by a ball in 2007 and slashed his hand open on mesh netting when he slipped on dugout steps in 2008.

Navarro, who's struggling mightily this year, appears to be one of the unfortunate souls who is truly cursed. He's the type of person who would trip and fall over a black cat and break a mirror while trying to maneuever something under a ladder.

He's the type of person cartoons are made about, eh Wile E?

Brawl At The Tour de France!

It wasn't quite the Palace Brawl, but any fight in the tame sport of cycling is worth examining. Following Stage 6 of the Tour de France today Carlos Barredo and Rui Costa exchanged blows and Barredo even tried to smash his spare bike wheel on the Costa's head. \

Tour De France Rider Hits Opponent With Wheel - Watch more Sports
Bicycling isn't exactly a contact sport so seeing two guys wearing spandex and goofy helmets try to punch each other's lights out is pretty unique. It appears the Tour organizers don't really have experience issuing punishments for this kind of misbehavior as both riders will be allowed to continue the Tour and were only fined "400 Swiss Francs (about $380 US dollars) for 'insults, threats and incorrect behaviour.'" Neither miscreant has reported any injuries thus far, but they're sure to have some bumps and bruises.

There have been many steroid rumors and investigations over the last several years in cycling but very little has been definitively proven. Today's clash looks like a clear case of Roid Rage if you ask me.

The One-Year Anniversary Of Ryan Dempster

Hat tip to JoeSportsFan for reminding me that today is the one-year anniversary of Ryan Dempster's hilarious injury. The poor pitcher was attempting to join his comrades in celebration of their victory over the Milwaukee Brewers when a particularly stubborn dugout fence sent him toppling to the ground. X-rays revealed a non-displaced fracture of his toe.

Dempster was bewildered about how such an innocent action could result in injury given the more dangerous incidents he'd been involved with just before:

"It's a weird thing. Three days before that I took a ball off the shin and kick-saved one to myself. And I took a ball off my face in batting practice, off the cage, and I was just fine. And then something as simple as that happens and I put myself on the DL."

But that's the thing with freak injuries, you never know when they'll strike. I just hope Joe West doesn't blame Dempster for adding a little extra time to games by being extra-cautious when exiting the dugout now.

Astros Struggle At A Lot Of Things This Year, Including Putting on Shirts

Geoff Blum is 37 which is old for a baseball player, but not so old he should be hurting himself doing simple everyday tasks, like putting on a shirt. But that's exactly what happened July 1st after Blum's Astros beat the San Diego Padres.

Blum pulled a shirt over his head and felt a pop in his elbow. He underwent an MRI on Friday which revealed "loose bodies" in his elbow, but he is not expected to miss much time. The injury was simply a result of a lot of mileage on Blum's body, but if professional athletes can't put on shirts unharmed there's not much hope for the rest of us.

Astros manager Brad Mills had a particularly enlightening description of the injury: “He was putting on his shirt after the game and his elbow goes boom. It popped, and it blew up on him.”

Of course, when your team has a record of 32-51, tied for third-worst in baseball, not a whole lot of things are going right. When putting on shirts becomes a problem, it's time for them to make some changes.

Luke Scott Joins Morales, Hurts Self Celebrating Home Run

As often as Kendry Morales has relived his unfortunate injury while celebrating a home run earlier this season, at least now he has company. On June 30th, Orioles outfielder Luke Scott launched a homer in the seventh inning that gave the O's a one run lead over the Oakland Athletics, and left Scott with a pulled hamstring.

Scott's adrenaline was flowing as he rounded first base and he says his hammy cramped up and was pulled as his leg lurched forward.

The footage of this injury reminds me of one of the old Madden games I played as a kid. Every so often, the ball carrier would be running full speed ahead only to suddenly reach back, clutching his hamstring and stumbling along until the CPU defenders converged on him and slammed him into the turf. Happened to me once with a clear path to the end zone against a friend; the stupid player went from being 20 yards ahead of the nearest opponent to utterly useless in a tenth of a second. AND I didn't score on the posession.

Not the greatest way to celebrate a homer, but at least Kendry has some company. There's nothing worse than being alone to lick your wounds, right Wile E?

When You Pay To Watch The Yankees, Watch The Yankees

Know all those clips they play at the movie theater begging you not to use your phone during the film?

They apply to baseball games too.

At Tuesday's Yankee game, a foul ball went careened down the right field line and bounced into the stands, clobbering a jabbering fan in the face. Of course this should be expected in New York, the city that doesn't sleep or ever stop talking on the phone.

Damn kids with their technology.

Rogue Golf Ball Disables Teenage Competitor

Seventeen-year-old golfer Matteo Manassero was forced to withdraw from the pro-am of the French Open this week after being hit on the hand by somebody else's errant golf ball.

I really, really suck at golf. And I admit, the few times I have gone golfing, my head has constantly been on a swivel because I'm convinced that a stray golf ball is going to nail me on the head. It's one of those embarrassing things you don't want people to notice, but I now feel completely justified thanks to Manassero.

Some other guy was also forced to withdraw from the tournament this week due to an insect bite, a recurring theme this week.

I don't know if I consider golf a sport, and both of these instances are kind of wussy, but at least Manassero gives me a reason to post one of my favorite movie clips of all time (NSFW):

Bed Bugs Infest Hollister

Back in high school my friends and I organized scavenger hunts designed to make us do embarrassing and humorous tasks. One of them was to enter a local Hollister clothing store with a flashlight and pretend that we needed it to find something in the store.

I also know of a mother in my town who went to Hollister with her daughter for the first time but decided to leave after a few minutes because the lack of light convinced her the store had experienced a power failure.

Hollister's puzzling decision to keep it's retail store in the dark has been the subject of many jokes and confusion nationwide. But even the many of us who mock Hollister never could have seen this story coming.

It turns out that a New York SoHo branch has had an infestation of bed bugs. You know, the critters who live in and around your mattresses, in the dark.

Hollister employees began noticing the insects about a month ago, but their complaints fell on deaf ears. Soon enough, several employees were covered in bed bug bites.

Lesley Kennedy writes, "Bedbugs only feed at night, and if you've ever been inside Hollister, you know that it is almost completely dark. I'm sure you can imagine the store has become a bedbug breeding ground since it was first exposed. Go Hollister!"

Well then.

As Wile E. would probably advise you, its not wise to enter a dimly lit cave without first knowing what surprises lie inside.