Don't Mess With Barracudas, They Mean Business

Fishing is supposed to be the ultimate leisure activity right? Lounging in the hot sun on a boat while your line dangles across the bright blue ocean may be paradise for many, but not the Wira family. Today, Kora Wira, 14, and her family were enjoying a fishing excursion off the coast of Florida where they were attempting to catch sharks and barracudas. Some animals aren't good for human interaction, as they soon found out. Wira got a bite from a four-foot barraccuda, who, instead of cooperating and getting reeled in, jumped from the water and sunk its teeth into Kira's arm. The wound required 51 stitches to close, but Wira is expected to be alright.

Mr. Wira sprung to his daughter's rescue and quickly jabbed a knife into the barracuda's head, ending it's rebellious life.

As a strong believer in animal rights, I can't help but have mixed feelings on this one. Obviously I don't wish harm on anyone, let alone a young girl, and I hope that she recovers quickly from this terrible accident. But I also think fishing is a pretty silly, and stupid, activity, especially when the fish caught aren't even being eaten. If you had a hook thrust into your mouth, you wouldn't feel very good either, so I don't blame the barracuda for being feisty. What happened to Kira was scary and dangerous, and I wish her all the best, but maybe people shouldn't be fishing in the first place.

Though this occurred during my hiatus, it's too good to skip.

What should have been a celebratory moment in the young career of one of baseball's newest stars turned tragic when Angels first baseman Kendry Morales broke his leg after jumping onto home plate in celebration of a walk-off Grand Slam on May 29th.



The "jump around like a bunch of idiots" celebration that has become so trendy in baseball has caused other injuries, but Morales' is the most severe thus far. Some teams have taken steps to outlaw or prevent this goofiness in the future. It's amazing that the least-contact of the major sports has so many injuries like this.

Morales' isn't the best, or worst, celebration of all time, however. That honor still belongs to the one and only Bill Gramatica.



Woulda been nice if the Road Runner got hurt one of those times he was gloating over his triumphs over Wile E.

Cyrus Almost Injured Because Of Untamed Production Equipment

It's always funny when God displays his sense of humor. Earlier this month, on the set of Miley Cyrus's new movie, Hannah Montana: The Movie, an errant piece of production equipment crashed into a ferris wheel, injuring several people.

It seems that God wanted to halt production of this insult to cinema, or at least cause the people behind it some level of pain in return for the pain parents will feel when they are forced to take their screaming adolescent daughters to see the film. Fortunately, Ms. Cyrus wasn't injured, as she'd just finished filming a scene on an adjacent stage.

The good news is that shooting has resumed and the move is still on schedule, which calls for a party in the USA.

Bet Wile E. would rather fall of a cliff than see this flick.

Katy Perry is Crazy

I don't know much about the pop music scene these days, but based on her newest video, in which Snoop Dogg plays Candy Land as Perry and friends dance around in cupcake bikinis and shoot whipped cream from their chests, I do know that Katy Perry is a little bit crazy.



She must be a little crazy on the dance floor too, because last weekend at a club in Toronto she cut her leg when she "fell" on the dance floor, a wound that required 17 stitches to close.

Playing off the success of her latest single, Perry joked that she might need a "candy cane walker" to perform the next concerts on her tour.

It's always good to have a sense of humor about your injuries, eh Wile E?

Combative Panthers Star Gets Hurt Playing Flag Football

Everyone agrees that American football is a pretty violent game, and its widely held that Carolina Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith is as tough as they come. The diminutive nine-year veteran has been among the league's best wide-outs since 2002 despite his size, and has never shied from physical play. But last Thursday, Smith's reckless style got the best of him when he fractured his arm playing...flag football. Not the ruthless game he's paid to play in which 300 lb gladiators crash into each other for three hours, but the little sister of the NFL where players "tackle" each other by stripping yellow flags from their opposition.

For his part, Smith is adamant that he plays football for more than money, that he can't help playing the sport merely for fun in the offseason. That's an admirable attitude to have, except when it results in injury.

He doesn't seem to be too worried about the wrath of the Panthers organization over his careless injury either, “Outside of football, I mow my grass, too,” he said. “You know, I can get my finger chopped off fixing my lawnmower. You know, I’ve almost rolled my ankle sitting playing tag or slip-and-slide with my kids in the backyard.”

Smith may have been joking, but those things happen randomly every day, as Wile E. can attest.